a sure thing

If I am being completely honest, I'll admit that most days are exhausting. I wake up cranky. I try to distract with toys instead of interact. I just want the kids to sleep. At the same time, please. And when I am feeling fed up and like I'd rather be anywhere but this moment, River will smile. Liam will make me laugh.


And then I love being a parent. I love the challenge. I love these boys.


If I am being completely honest, I am really really lucky to have them.

River is such a happy baby. Ever since he discovered that he can stick his tongue out, he does it all day long.

Just watching a baby discover the world is something to smile about.

Seeing his little personality emerge is so much fun. He is so different from Liam, but still so similar. Hurray for brothers.
And then there is this kid. What a challenge. What a crack-up. Always into everything everywhere at the same time.
He is a lot to keep up with.

He is potty trained (well, most of the time when he feels like being cooperative), but living au naturale still suits him just fine.

And now he calls me Dorth. When did he become such a little boy?

So, all of this is to say that these two little guys make our family complete. Content with what we have.

All along, Gabriel and I have said that we wanted to have two of our own and then after that adopt kids into our family.

That hasn't changed. And now that we have these two, we were ready to make sure of it. Yes, it's a big decision. One we have put a lot of thought into, but also one that we feel very confident about.

There is a bittersweet sadness in it. A finality. But also gratitude for the pregnancy and childbirth we have had the privilege to experience twice, and also a gladness that we are done with that season of our lives.

If and when our family of four is ready to grow again, we want to make a home for children who don't have one. But until then, it's just the four of us.

And, really, the thought of no more birth control... That's an added bonus.

tummy time

dairy free it is

After a week of eliminating dairy from my diet for River's benefit, it is obvious that this boy just can't take the cow's milk.

From the research I've done, it's not that he is lactose intolerant. That would be too easy. It's most likely that he is allergic to casein, the protein found in cow's milk, and he may or may not outgrow it. He fits the symptoms: sudden abdominal pain, gas, occasional congestion, bloody stools, diarrhea. Poor guy.

But going all of last week without dairy, he was like a new person: happy and content all the time, fussing only when he was tired, hungry, or needed a diaper change. He laughed and played, sat back and observed the family's going-ons, and slept really really well.

And then, over the weekend, the abdominal pain and gas returned, along with the inconsolable fussing. We haven't been getting much sleep.

I'm trying to figure out what caused the setback:

Was it the single bite of a bagel with cream cheese on Saturday, and then a bite of green beans on Sunday that apparently had some butter in them?

Could he also be intolerant to beef? I had (cheeseless) supreme pizza on Saturday and roast beef on Sunday.

Or maybe it's *shudders* chocolate. The dark chocolate bar on Saturday and chocolate chip cupcakes on Sunday tasted great to me, but maybe he just can't take dairy-free chocolate either?

Those are the only foods I ate over the weekend that I didn't have during the week of bliss before. So, I'm being careful to avoid beef and chocolate along with dairy over the next few days, and then I'll test them one at a time to try and figure out what else I can't eat for the next year or so.

It's frustrating. But, after seeing how happy he can be when his intestines aren't complaining, all of these foods sacrificed are a small price to pay.

I'm a lucky girl

Look what I got for my anniversary gift:

It's a Nikon D5000 DSLR with the 18-55 mm lens to start with.

I love taking pictures: our boys, the garden, trips we go on, bread I bake. We decided that it was worth upgrading from our little point and shoot to something a bit better, and I am SO EXCITED.

Now, I have to learn how to use the thing... but I am loving it already!!!

What did Gabriel get for our 7 year anniversary? A pretty little hatchet. Well, and I suppose the camera is his also...

seven years

Monday was our wedding anniversary.

Seven years ago we promised ourselves to each other: It was the craziest best decision I have ever made.

Our marriage has survived the college years, the year we completely gutted and remodeled our house, and the birth of two kids. Some days are definitely better than others, but when it really comes down to it, there is no person I'd rather spend my life with.

And even though neither of us is the same person that we were on our wedding day, we are even more perfect for each other now. God is funny like that.

Gabriel, I love life with you, our children, and whatever tomorrow may bring.

take me to the river

Saturday morning, we went to the White River out by Beaver Dam for the first time. Gabe wanted to scout out the fishing spots for later trips, and we decided to make a day of it for the whole family.

We drove up near the dam, but didn't go over it. Just getting close to it made me almost hyperventilate. I don't indulge in a lot of fears, but gigantic dams holding back large bodies of water just about undo me. That and suspension bridges. And, yes, there was one of those in the day, too. The only one in the area. It was one lane, old, and seemed awfully rickety. It freaked me out.

But the river was beautiful. (Before you roll your eyes at Arkansas, this isn't the river...just a puddle on the way for Liam to splash in)
River hung out in the Ergo carrier and was happy to look around.

Learning about the tackle box. So. Much. Fun. (for both of them...).

We got back in the car and headed over to a camping area in Beaver to find a place where Liam could splash in the water and throw rocks without irritating the nearby fishermen.

Add to that sticks for digging in the mud.

And a park to explore.

And a happy happy baby.

And we have a good day.

trains trains trains

After our morning at the river, we took a different route home and passed through Eureka Springs, a funky little town tucked away in the Ozarks. It's a local tourist attraction for lovers of eclectic arts, bikers with beer bellies, new agers and hippies, homosexuals and their Pride events, and, of course, conservative Christians flocking to see the Great Passion Play and the enormous Christ of the Ozarks up on the hilltop. Add to that the charm of an historic Victorian style mainstreet nestled into the bluffs. You never quite know what you'll find in Eureka Springs.

This time, we found the old railroad station.
Most of the tracks and engines date back to the early 1900's, and we were able to climb all around and check them out.
Liam is really into Thomas the train lately, so he was very excited to climb into a real steam engine. A BIG ONE.

Gabriel was pretty excited about it, too. Okay, we all were.

Liam had me singing:

Down by the station early in the morning

See the little pufferbellies all in a row.

See the engine driver pull the little handle.

Chug chug, toot toot

Off we go!

Apparently, River was excited about the trains, too.